My karma lives in my house and she’s wearing all of my clothes…
Our daughters are our great teachers, our Gurus, offering us ample opportunities to heal the places inside that need our own loving attention. And if you’re anything like me, there will be a lot to heal. The more connected we are inward, the greater connection we have with our girls.
I am most passionate about mother daughter relationships! Probably because looking at my daughter is like looking in a mirror, but with a lot less wrinkles. She calls up everything in me and I love every minute of it! Especially when we get through to the other side, which we do every single time because of our bond. The connection we share is extraordinary, but not without a ton of growing pains. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
The work of helping you to stay bonded to your daughter comes from the hundreds of families I’ve counseled, as well as my own challenging and wonderful experience as a mother.
Are you as connected to your daughter as you’d like to be?
There is that precious moment when you are about to become a mother, a time of great expectations. You never forecast 14 years later, you only forecast to the adorable age of 3, maybe 4. But here you are, often never imagining that she could trigger you as deeply as she does.
Multiply the children and the challenges grow.
Add the pressures of work or unemployment, money (or lack therof), time, relationship struggles, and other commitments, and it becomes rather challenging to sustain real connection.
Then, for some there are the stressors of raising children alone, without a partner, extended family, or community.
On top of that, our girls are masterful at triggering every emotion like fear, confusion, resentment, exhaustion, embarrassment, and a lot of anger.
And, when this occurs it is difficult to remain connected – to your Self as well as to your children.
Being a mother is another opportunity, a do-over, to re-parent yourself by making sense of your own early experiences.
You can learn to choose your responses and not be controlled by emotional reactions.
When these moments occur, it is truly freeing.
- Understand why your daughter is acting out
- Learn to unhook during power struggles
- Stay connected to her during tantrums and blowups
- Develop strategies for handling mealtimes, bedtimes, school, and other transitions
- Heal your own pain
- Learn to stay Connected to your Self
Families work best when everyone’s needs are met, especially the mama. A few tips…
- We fill our children’s cup best when our cup is full
- Mothers’ unmet needs create a cycle of stress in the family
- We are naturally more patient, understanding, and loving when we are relaxed
- We are more open to connection when relaxed
- Couples need to stay connected
- Single parents need to talk to another adult
- Mothers need nurturing too
